I'm LOST

Do you ever have a word, phrase, or symbol that just resonates with you in some way? Something about it just has such a deeper meaning to you and maybe only you in the way you depict it and how it fits within your life?


That's how “lost” resonates with me.


The textbook definition of Lost: (noun) - cannot be found, vanished; taken away; extinct; beyond reach; departed; no longer visible. Lost contains such a deeper meaning to me than just its definition. When you think about it, there's a lot of ways you can use the word. You could lose a friendship, a materialistic item, your way, etc. Lost in my opinion can resonate a lot with everyday life. It's displayed in such a negative way I believe in most cases because being lost or losing something isn't really what anyone wants, but thinking deeper, and in a positive light, it can change your perspective on even the most negative thoughts about the word. It's like saying “In the end everything will be alright,” a phrase we typically say to someone going through tough times. It uplifts and inspires us to know everything will be alright even if we don't know the future just yet. We become hopeful that things will turn out alright. “What is lost can be found,” shares this same inspiration but it seems more realistic to me.


When I decided to stop going to college for nursing, lost was a word I used often to describe my life in that moment. It was such a heavy, almost painful word that drowned my thoughts. College opened my mind a lot more to just how broad jobs can be and even introduced me to new jobs I never even thought of. My passions for nursing were no longer there anymore and for a while I tried to just force myself to continue because it will be a “safe & reliable” job. I made myself miserable because on one hand I could just continue, get a great job after and then just deal with the what ifs and the doubts I had already circling my head. On the other hand, I could completely stop where I am in school and take some time off to think about a new passion. This terrified me since I had no clue on what I would even want to pursue if it wasn't nursing. I realized all the years of planning I had for college and my future were all going to change one way or another because I wasn't happy anymore. I planned for school to be the next 4-8 years of my life and working in a hospital, getting the dream home, salary, and all that happy future stuff. The unknown of where things would go next haunted me but I knew continuing on would ultimately destroy me. Fast forward to withdrawing from my classes and looking at what I was going to do next was a whole adventure in itself. Going through all of this has been so dark and yet I've learned so much about myself through it and how much I suppressed my mind and just always stuck to my “plans” because they were safe and I didn't want to get lost. How I perceive things, what my reality has shaped to be, how my mind processes thoughts and feelings tend to resonate in some way with lost. It took all my planning to fall apart to realize that everything doesn't have have to go according to plan. Losing myself allowed me to find the things I really enjoy in life and true happiness.


When you lose something it might not come back in the condition you left it in. It could need repairs or need to be replaced. What is lost can be found is encouraging that nothing is impossible. When you have a sense of losing yourself, you start to find the things that comfort you the most and rely on them to pull you through dark times. To me it means even if you've lost something it can find its way back to you or you can still find it in some condition. Whether that is a lost passion, a lost relationship (friendship or lover), a dream or goal, nothing is impossible and you can find yourself through the process. The positive aspects that some people can relate to is losing a toxic relationship and bettering yourself in end by not being surrounded by negative energy.


Getting lost always used to scare me but now I embrace it. Life is full of ups and downs and I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. You are meant to go through things in life to make yourself stronger and to overcome battles to set you up for success in life. Whatever you go through in life and the lessons you learn can open up a different way of thinking and solving problems. The world we live in is so unpredictable, we strive to always have plan to avoid painful situations, to avoid being lost with no answers and no plan at all for things. I'm here to say its OK to not have a plan for everything. This can allow yourself to step out of your comfort zone and embrace the unknown with open arms.


Lose yourself to find yourself again, stronger and better than ever.

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